Warning: Do Not Read This Post

I'm feeling meloncholy. So, if you're here to read my second-rate wit, you'll just have to get it from somewhere else. *crickets chirp* Okay, now that I'm all alone, and because I'm feeling kind of morbid, I'll now proceed to catalog some things that have been on my mind (for posterity).
1) I am failing Physics. That's right...anybody that ever thought I was smart can now disillusion themselves. And, I'm not saying that my average has barely dipped into failing territory...I got a 22 on the last EXAM. Of course, with the 30 point curve that the teacher (if you can call him that) gave the class, I'm....still FAILING. Now, I don't care about excuses or extraneous circumstances; I'm failing a class. And, since my entire ego is pretty much based on my intellect, I now realize that I've got nothing. No fallback. I'm not pretty. Not athletic. Not charismatic. My whole life, I've been smart. Now, I've got nothing. Time to start looking for a job as a drunken village idiot. Hope I don't mess that up.
2) My BFF has a new boyfriend, and I'm now second fiddle. I completely realize that it's petty and childish of me to not wish someone I care about happiness. But, too bad. Me! Me! Me! I'm jealous that someone who has known my BFF for only 1.3 months now has more influence than I do after 26.7 years. And I hate that I'm jealous. I wish I were the bigger man. Emotionally, that is. I could totally kick most asses physically. If only I were a caveman, I could just club people until the world was the way I wanted. Then being 6'6" and 300 pounds would be an asset and not just a reason that no one will ever date me. Which brings us to
3) I've been dieting. Now, I'm hungry and NOT ANY THINNER. Seriously, I think my metabolism is the most adaptable metabolism in the world. I cut back to healthy levels and nothing happens. Same size. I have to practically starve myself (not exagerating) to lose any weight, and then it comes off really quickly. But, you're not supposed to starve yourself....it's unhealthy or something. And, if I starve myself, I start getting headaches and dizziness. Again, the irony is that a maleable metabolism would be a total asset in almost any other time period in the world. I hate irony.
4) I thought that I could be one of those people who could work and go to school full-time. But, I don't think I am. I think that I'm slowly going insane. I need sleep. And multiple days off each week. Sometime, when I remember that I still have a minimum of five years before I graduate, I physically twitch. And the sad thing is that I actually enjoy school. I used to be good at it, and I enjoy learning new things. But, since I wasn't born wealthy, there just isn't any feasible way for me to go to school and not work 40 hours. And, I can't go to school part time and get any sort of good grant. It's the story of my life. If I like or want something, it's always has strings attached that make it unbearable or impossible. I hate catch-22's
5) I met this guy on myspace. I decided to be myself (for the most part) and chatted for a couple of weeks with him. Then he stopped responding. See, I forgot that I'm completely unlikable. I have to cater to everyone around me all the time just so that no one hates me. Cause, in past experience, those are the results. Cater or hate. And sometimes catering isn't enough. Oh, of course I don't mean YOU. You're the one person who understands me. And, changing the subject...I realize that is how it is on the internet. People lose interest etc. But my sole reason for joining myspace was to talk to him (my neighbors conned me into it), and now, I have strangers writing to me. I don't like strangers. I never know what to say. I hate social awkwardness. Speaking of which...
Well, that was...probably vaguely offensive. Good thing no one was reading it. *nervous laugh* But, I do feel better. Blogs are way cheaper than therapy.