Buoyant Apathy

So, I've had some...bad relationships. (Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about any of them). And, after the last one ended (that's the polite way of putting it), I had absolutely zero interest in ever having a relationship again. That was...let's see...four years ago. Then, out of the blue, earlier this year, up comes my subconscious with a freakin' CRUSH! I mean a real high-school can't-stop-thinking-about-the-guy crush. (Please refrain from using the word pathetic or sad in any comments). So, after several weeks of generally being nervous around the guy, I finally drudge up the courage to ask if he wants to go with my friends and I out for drinks. He said no. His next sentence included the phrase "I have a serious girlfriend"...and I don't think he was referring to her temperament. Now, I had a similar experience in high-school (you know, the time and place when crushes are far more appropriate), and I was mortified and depressed. I'm not this time. All of the that was unimportant exposition for the actual point. I wonder if I'm an emotionless husk of a person, or if I've honed my apathy into a helpful tool. I'm still a little embarrassed, mostly because of my huge miscalculation...but even that faded fairly quickly as I realized I didn't really care what he thought of me anymore. I guess that makes me terribly selfish. Oh well.