Bio-tank Emergence Day!

Yes, on this day 26 years ago, I bravely ventured out from the bio-tank of my host's womb onto to the road of life with nothing but a leisure suit made from goo, a thin strip of dying umbilical cord, and a fistful of moxy. Since that momentous occasion, I've learned a few things; but mostly, I've eaten a lot, slept a lot, and generally made a nuisance of myself. But, now I'm TWENTY-SIX! Now, I'm a real adult. Part of me acknowledges that this important transition was a slow process taking years...but my more dramatic side has decided that I've fully matured in just one day. That's right, yesterday I was nothing more than an advanced teenager...but today, my friend, I've emerged from the carefree coccoon of irresposibility (and some acne that was SUPPOSED to go away five years ago) into the butterfly of a novice bitter old man. Those of you who know me may be thinking it, so I'll go ahead and say that the transformation wasn't that unexpected...I've been on the verge of being a bitter old man for years. But...old habits die hard, so I'm still really excited about the GameCube my siblings bought for me. An act that prompted me to go out and spend over a hundred dollars on various gifts for myself (Civ: Conquests, Tales of Symphonia, Animal Crossing, and Pokemon Collosseum...don't judge me, it's not like I go to Burger King on Tuesdays and PokeBattle with eight year olds. I just like playing the damn game.) But, more in line with my distinguished age, my mother bought me a set of Scriptures (Leather bound Bible and Book of Mormon set...looks expensive), a hymnal, and book of piano music to learn on. Quite a juxtaposition, isn't it. Hmmm...video games or...the epistles of ancient men concerning my immortal soul. Well, I've decided to read the books (it will give me limitless fuel for my atheistic opinions, and with so many true believers, it must be a fascinating read...right?) for about half to a full hour each day and play the video games with ALL remaining free time. That's sounds fair. After all, a man of my age needs to find ways to recapture his youth...