Who Wants To Be A World Leader!?!
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. So, in that train of thought, I give you the combination of reality tv and politics....Who Wants To Be A World Leader.
Okay, so I envision the show to have 3 phases.
Phase One: Mr. America
First we need a board of "experts", probably drawn from the electoral college or directly from the federal government...we can work out the details later. So, our board of experts throw together a list of about, let's say, 200 Presidential Hopefuls (which, despite the name of the phase one, may be of either gender. But, really, I couldn't use Miss America, cause it's taken, and American Person just didn't sound right. Maybe it could be Mr./Ms. America...but that's just too punctuation heavy). We slap them all together in a Miss America type pagent (hopefully skipping the swimsuit competition) and narrow them down to about 10-15. The Judges will be...RANDOMLY SELECTED REGISTERED VOTERS. Genius. I'd suggest around 20-50 judges total, with the board of experts each having one veto (kinda like the lawyers picking a jury...speaking of which, there might be those who say that randomly selected people aren't worthy to select our President. I say, if it's good enough to decide if a man has commited a crime or not, it's good enough to elect our leader!) And we might even want to give 1/3 of the votes to internet polling...but again, those are just details. So, once we are down to 10-15 hopefuls, we have...
Phase Two: Presidential Survivor
So, the board of experts get together some Presidential Challenges, and our hopefuls are cut down one by one with us, the tv viewing public, getting maximum entertainment value from all of their suffering...uh, I mean watching the Indomitable American Spirit! Again, the actual cuts are made by the randomly selected board of judges (again with an option for direct democracy utilizing the internet). Once we're down to just one hopeful, the true genius of the show emerges with...
Phase Three: Democracy TV
That's right, from now on, there won't be any presidential conspiracies, because the President with be TELEVISED 24/7! Well, okay, he can have breaks for the bathroom and such. And maybe some time with his family...but if he wants to be "the most powerful man in the world" (hey, people say it. I make no claims to it's veracity) then he has to make a few sacrifices. Every politician knows he's constantly in the public eye...so, now the president will just take a more literal meaning. Of course, he'll still have a board of experts to guide him, in case the infallible public accidently chooses a stinker, but this part is also genius: no one can be any board in more than one phase. So, if you are one of the lucky randomly selected registered voters for phase one, you are ineligible for phase two, and so on. But, more importantly...if you are on the board of experts that helps select our president, you can't be on the board that advises him during office. MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Okay, so I'm thinking that each election year, we can have the first two months for the pagent, another six months for the Survivor challenges, and then Democracy TV for the other three years and four months of one term. Of course, that means that coverage of the president will be spotty during the first eight months of an election year, but, hey, he's already on the way out, what's the harm in giving him a little privacy at the end?
Sometimes I my genius even scares me... Anyhoo, okay people, time to start calling your Congresspersons and pulling those strings to TV executives. Remember, only YOU can make our a government a debacle for public entertainment. We already give them a big chunk of our income...and they aren't even FUNNY! That's just no way to run a network...uh, I mean a country.
Okay, so I envision the show to have 3 phases.
Phase One: Mr. America
First we need a board of "experts", probably drawn from the electoral college or directly from the federal government...we can work out the details later. So, our board of experts throw together a list of about, let's say, 200 Presidential Hopefuls (which, despite the name of the phase one, may be of either gender. But, really, I couldn't use Miss America, cause it's taken, and American Person just didn't sound right. Maybe it could be Mr./Ms. America...but that's just too punctuation heavy). We slap them all together in a Miss America type pagent (hopefully skipping the swimsuit competition) and narrow them down to about 10-15. The Judges will be...RANDOMLY SELECTED REGISTERED VOTERS. Genius. I'd suggest around 20-50 judges total, with the board of experts each having one veto (kinda like the lawyers picking a jury...speaking of which, there might be those who say that randomly selected people aren't worthy to select our President. I say, if it's good enough to decide if a man has commited a crime or not, it's good enough to elect our leader!) And we might even want to give 1/3 of the votes to internet polling...but again, those are just details. So, once we are down to 10-15 hopefuls, we have...
Phase Two: Presidential Survivor
So, the board of experts get together some Presidential Challenges, and our hopefuls are cut down one by one with us, the tv viewing public, getting maximum entertainment value from all of their suffering...uh, I mean watching the Indomitable American Spirit! Again, the actual cuts are made by the randomly selected board of judges (again with an option for direct democracy utilizing the internet). Once we're down to just one hopeful, the true genius of the show emerges with...
Phase Three: Democracy TV
That's right, from now on, there won't be any presidential conspiracies, because the President with be TELEVISED 24/7! Well, okay, he can have breaks for the bathroom and such. And maybe some time with his family...but if he wants to be "the most powerful man in the world" (hey, people say it. I make no claims to it's veracity) then he has to make a few sacrifices. Every politician knows he's constantly in the public eye...so, now the president will just take a more literal meaning. Of course, he'll still have a board of experts to guide him, in case the infallible public accidently chooses a stinker, but this part is also genius: no one can be any board in more than one phase. So, if you are one of the lucky randomly selected registered voters for phase one, you are ineligible for phase two, and so on. But, more importantly...if you are on the board of experts that helps select our president, you can't be on the board that advises him during office. MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Okay, so I'm thinking that each election year, we can have the first two months for the pagent, another six months for the Survivor challenges, and then Democracy TV for the other three years and four months of one term. Of course, that means that coverage of the president will be spotty during the first eight months of an election year, but, hey, he's already on the way out, what's the harm in giving him a little privacy at the end?
Sometimes I my genius even scares me... Anyhoo, okay people, time to start calling your Congresspersons and pulling those strings to TV executives. Remember, only YOU can make our a government a debacle for public entertainment. We already give them a big chunk of our income...and they aren't even FUNNY! That's just no way to run a network...uh, I mean a country.
posted by Joshie at
4:21 PM
5 Comments:
GENIUS! You really SHOULD be Evil Overlord! The only part that bothers me is the length of time you suggest for each phase. Americans have a short attention span, they'll tune out if you take that long. Seriously, you need to rethink that part.
By
Margie the Pickle Princess, at August 18, 2006 5:04 PM
All of the details are negotiable. We can do some polling and tests to find the optimal time frames for each phase to maximize entertainment value vs quality selection. All of the numbers are negotiable too. If people feel like winnowing down 2000 initial candidates, then I'm game. But, I think we should stick to one winner. Not that I'm adverse to having two or three simulaneous national leaders (sort of like a bi/trinary unit working for failsafe...hey, it worked for Jesus), but I think most people need one face as a figurehead.
By
Joshie, at August 18, 2006 6:00 PM
Would there have to be a whole new channel for this?
By
Veronica, at August 18, 2006 6:08 PM
Unless we can find someone very trustworthy and uncorruptible to edit it...yes. Lot's of frequencies in the teens aren't being used. Or we could appropriate one of the channels dedicated solely to sports...for the greater good, of course.
By
Joshie, at August 18, 2006 10:11 PM
Sounds good to me! Of course you have to take into consideration that the American public is stupid...but still it would be fun. ;)
By
KieraAnne, at August 19, 2006 8:55 AM
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