Inertial Apathy

It's like posting.

2007-10-30T02:09:00.000-07:00

Quiz meh blah meh food blah blah:

1) How do you like your eggs?
In brownies.

2)How do you take your coffee/tea?
Nasally. No, seriously. Coffee is only good for smelling. I think you can use tea for artificially aging paper...

3) Favorite breakfast foods?
I'm not really into breakfast foods. I'm not really into breakfast in general. But, I do like a nice bowl of cereal every now and again. Corn Chex or Frosted Mini Wheats for preference.

4) Peanut Butter: Crunchy or Creamy?
I can only choke down peanut butter if there is an equal amount of banana with it. Beyond that addendum, I don't care about the peanut butter's consistency.

5) What kind of dressing do you like on your salad?
Ranch. If Ranch isn't available, I see if there's a Ceasar Salad. With chicken. Beyond that, the only other dressing I like is Italian on subs.

6) Coke or Pepsi? Coke.
Dr. Pepper. I'll drink either of the others, but it's like methadone...no substitute.

7) You're feeling lazy, what do you make?
I think you underestimate my lazy. I can skip eating for days on a good lazy.

8) You're feeling REALLY lazy, what pizza do you order?
Chicken and bacon. Or anything. As long as it doesn't have peppers, onions, or pineapple.

9) You feel like cooking, what do you make?
You're really stretching my hypothetical here. Stew. I love my stew.

10) Do any food bring back good memories?
Peanut Brittle reminds me of Flight of the Navigator. You know, that movie with a kid and a spaceship and time travel? Man, I ate a lot of peanut brittle the first time I saw that...

11) Do any foods bring back bad memories?
The peanut brittle springs to mind again. Too much of a good thing...

12) Do any foods remind you of someone?
Nutella reminds me of Margie. Cream Wafer Cookies remind me of my mother. Actually lots of foods remind me of mom....man, that woman can cook. I have a pretty associative memory, so almost everything reminds me of something.

13) Is there any food you refuse to eat?
I might be easier for me to list the things I will eat...

14) What was your favorite food as a child?
My mother's stew. mmmmm....I love stew....

15) Is there any food you hated as a child, but like now?
Mushrooms. Couldn't stand them, now, I eat them raw.

16) Is there a food you liked as a child, but hate now?
Nothing springs to mind...

17) Favorite fruit and vegetable?
Grapes. Broccoli.

18) Favorite junk food?
uhhh....ice cream?

19) Favorite in between meal snack?
I'm not a big snacker. But, I guess....pretzels?

20) Do you have any weird food habits?
I like to eat all of one thing on my plate before moving on to the next. Usually starting with my least favorite item and moving up. I don't do it all of the time, but I tend to if I'm not thinking about it.

21) You're on a diet, what do you fill up on?
Water and multivitamins. I'm not a healthy dieter.

22) You're off your diet, now what would you eat?
I feel like chicken tonight?

23) How spicy to you order your Indian/Thai?
I can eat spicy foods...I just don't like them. I think people make food spicy to cover up it's lack of flavor.

24) Can I get you a drink?
No, I'm good. Thanks.

25) Favorite dessert?
Bring out the Churriscaria Desert Cart and I'll pick one out.

I tag the people of Ethiopia. For years, they are the reason I've had to clean my plate; let's find out what they REALLY eat!

Under-Employed

2007-08-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I may have quit my job today. I'm actually totally fine with not working at CarQuest, but this current development is actually a power play on my part. We'll see if my boss twigs. If not, then at least I'll have some free time before school starts! Horray! And then, I won't have to work every weekend during the school year! Double Horray! ...now if I could only get over the nervy feeling I always get after quitting a job. This happened about twenty minutes ago...so I think I'll give it a bit.

Were-apples indicted for "juicing"!

2007-07-26T16:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I was trying to think of a clever headline, and that's the only thing that popped into my head. Yes, I know I'm odd.

Uh...I'm still alive. I haven't yet taken over the world as of this morning. And I still consider forty hours a week of work be inhumane. Oh, and I've taken up "recreational" bicycling.

Reading:
Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein....again
My Japanese Textbook in preparation for my third semester
ThinkGeek.com

Watching:
Wonderfalls on DVD (two eps left)
Roswell Season One
And a bunch of movies from Blockbuster...none of which rate a name drop yet

There, you may consider yourselves fully updated.

PS: If you enjoyed this post, you love http://kieraanne.blogspot.com/ and http://www.margieq.blogspot.com/

(evil)^(1/2)

2007-04-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking recently. A dangerous pasttime, I know. But, for my curiousity, I'd like to ask my loyal readers some simplish questions. And remember, this is for posterity...so, please, be honest. (two movie quotes in four sentences...I'm on fire!)

Note: Although the line of thought that spawned them came from the people I know...they are NOT about any particular person. So, to reinterate using vague pronouns, I wasn't thinking about YOU when I wrote this...just people in general.

Also Note: Feel free to give in-depth explanations when I demand you explain yourself (see second part of question one for an example), but I'm not expecting more than a sentence or two.

1) Would you rather be considered stupid or a liar? Why?

2) Would you rather people thought you to be a hypocrite or self-delusional? Why?

3) Which is a stronger motivator for OTHER people: principle, fear, or shame?

4) And finally, if you were in front of a large group of people who you respected and they asked you what your worst quality was...what would you tell them? (You don't have to say whether what you told was the truth or not unless you're feeling froggy. Meaning, I'm not asking anyone to divulge deep dark secret shames here.)

Thankee!

Dear Veronica

2007-04-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you'll ever read this, or care...

I had a whole lot I was going to say, but what's the point?

I'm done. Don't put me on your itinerary when you visit Texas again.

Long beautiful hair...

2007-03-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

So, my whole life, I've feared haircuts. Maybe it's because my father always got my hair cut very short when I was young and I hated it; or maybe it's just that innate fear that you'll come out of the place looking stupid. Whatever the case, I usually handle this anxiety by growing my hair out long and when I can't stand long hair any more, by taking someone with me to make all of the decisions at the barber. In the past, this has worked well enough, I'm not sure if the third person perspective allows the people I drag with me to give better instructions or if it's just coincidence, but I'm usually fairly happy with how the event unfolds.

Last Friday, no one was available to go with me to get my haircut. But, I tell myself, I'm an adult, and I can do very basic things like this for myself. So, I go to sport clips. There, I figure, they have cut my hair before, AND they have that cut in their database...so even if I give poor directions or freeze up, I can fall back on a haircut from my past. I get there, and give the same outline I give everytime: long enough on the top to be a little floppy, short on the side, and tapered in the back. ...I guess she wasn't listening.

So far, every person I've talked to has indicated that I looked better with long hair. Two people actually used the words "bad haircut" and one said "well, your hair grows pretty fast." Sigh. I'm not looking forward to going to school where a largish number of people from my Japanese class actively proscribed me cutting my hair; I predict a lot of "I told you so."

I'm not mortified or anything. Mainly because I'm just not that vain, and also because enough gel fixes almost anything. But, next time...I don't care if it's superstitious...I'm definitely taking someone with me to do all of the talking.

Lies! All LIES!!

2006-12-30T02:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, there's only one lie. But that didn't make a good title. Well, Veronica tagged Cainnum who tagged Raine who tagged me to tell five "interesting" facts about myself one of which is a lie. So, here goes:

1. Once, when I was younger, I was attacked by a raccoon. Ever since, I've had a seething hatred of the nasty creatures.

2. When I was a teenager, I wrote in my journal 126 "universal truths" of living. To this day, they all still ring true.

3. As a child, I sprained my wrist in a particularly nasty bicycle accident. I didn't tell anyone because of my over-protective mother, and didn't even know it was sprained until the next week when I went to the doctor for the flu.

4. In middle school, I scratched my cornea with a rubber band. I had to wear an eyepatch for several weeks, but I was so invisible and/or the other students were so intimidated by me, that no one said anything to me or made fun of me.

5. When I grow up, I want to rule the galaxy and subjugate (in a fun, utopian way) the human race with a small cadre of elite followers to rule over my many minions. If you want to pencil it into your calanders, I'm shooting for the date the Mayan calendar ends.

There you go. I'll give you a hint: #5 is nothing but the truth (I believe Overlords should be honest and forthright...I'll have elite minions to do my necessary lying).

And since the number of people I know with blogs is extremely limited, I bet you can guess who's being tagged. Kiera and Dave.

Hurray for Filler!

2006-10-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Uh...everyone else is doing it! So....here's a quiz about...ME!

Do you snore?
Reports vary.

Are you a lover or a fighter?
Neither. I don't believe in become emotionally involved with my test subjects...uh...I mean other people.

What's you worst fear?
Hmmm. I'm not really big on the fear thing. I seem to be in almost a perpetual state of laid-back nervousness that prevents actual fear. So...people jumping out and saying "BOO!"

As a kid, were you a Lego maniac?
I played with rocks and sticks. Sad, but true. And even sadder...I think we actually HAD legos...and I chose those damn rocks.

What do you think of reality TV?
Oxymoronic? With a stress on "moronic".

Do you chew on your straws?
No. Then don't work right anymore, and my need for Dr. Pepper far exceeds my oral fixation.

Were you a cute baby?
I don't remember. I think people have said that I was...but, people tend to think all babies are cute.

Is the single life for you?
Well...sort of. I don't really want a "life partner" if that's what you mean; however, I wouldn't mind a live-in servant. Preferably someone hot.

What color is your keyboard?
Hmmm...Ecru?

Do you sing in the shower?
Every chance I get, but usually in a low voice to get the most out of the acoustics.

Have you ever bungee jumped?
No, I don't understand the entertainment value of pure falling. It's so brief...roller coasters are so much better.

Any secret talents?
Don't tell anyone...but I can get really annoying sometimes. Shhh! It's a secret.

What is your ideal vacation spot?
A luxury space station.

Can you swim?
I can do all kinds of things in the water. heh heh

Have you seen the movie Donnie Darko?
Yes. When I go to blockbuster, it's usually easier to point out the movies I HAVEN'T seen.

Do you give a damn about the ozone?
Yes. I really wish people would stop talking about it.

How many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie Pop?
You know...I actually counted once. Took measure licks and everything, and now...I don't remember. All of that research time, wasted! That's my problem, scientific mind, but completely impatient with things like recording data.

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
Slowly. Dude, I have to ask for reminders during the alphabet game.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?
Why would you sharpen a pencil? Just push on the eraser and more graphite comes out!

What's your stand on hunting?
I try not to, I'd probably break it.

Is marriage in your future?
Probably not, since I live in Texas.

Do you like your handwriting?
Not really. It's doesn't drive me into a fury or anything, but it could be cooler.

What are you allergic to?
Spinach.

When was the last time you said "I love you"?
Last night, before I went to bed, to my computer.

Do you cry at weddings?
No, "Bored to tears" is just a euphemism.

How do you like your eggs?
I'm not a big egg fan. But, I do like those little breakfast sandwiches with egg cheese and sausage.

Are blondes dumb?
I found that most people are dumb.

Where does the other sock end up?
You lost it! Now stop complaining and try to keep better track of your damned socks!

What time is it?
11:53 Am

Do you have a nickname?
No. Though I've always secretly hoped that someone would give me one. You know, since you can't nickname yourself. Unfortunately, I kind of boring. And boring people don't get nicknames. But...you could call me..."Ace"?

Is McDonalds disgusting?
I go there once a month whether I need it or not!

When was the last time you were in a car?
Hmmm...30 minutes ago? That's a guess, I didn't really check the time.

Do you prefer baths or showers?
Showers. I like complete temperature control.

Is Santa Claus real?
As I love telling small children....No. He's a LIE! Your PARENTS are LYING to you! All of the adults are LYING to you! TELEVISION is LYING to you! EVERYONE LIES!!! ...stay in school.

Do you like to have your neck kissed?
Eh. I suppose. If someone could do it without violating my personal space.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Again. Not so into the fear thing.

What are you addicted to?
DP. Cigs. Food. Air. ...in that order.

Crunchy or creamy peanut butter
As long as it has a banana with it, I'm good.

Can you crack your neck?
Yes. At will.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No. I actually once had to sign a waiver after a car accident when I was a teen. The police were very upset that I didn't want to get into their shiny truck. So, I called my parents...and they took me to the hospital. Much to my chagrin.

Is drug free the way to be?
I don't do drugs, but I think drugs should be legalized. All drugs. It's not a very popular opinion.

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Not at all.

What color are your eyes?
Brown

Do you like your life?
What's NOT to like? Then again...what's to like? Oh, crap! I'm caught in an ambivalence loop!

Are you psychic?
I knew you were going to ask that. Well, mainly because I've already read this quiz on Margie's site.

Have you read Catcher in the Rye?
Nope.

Do you play any instruments?
Heh heh. Oh, you mean musical instruments. Hmmm....I can't think of anything. Well, I did spend seven years learning the clarinet. I'm not sure if I "play" it still.

Have you ever stolen money?
So you're on to me! You'll never take me alive!

Can you snowboard?
Sure, sure. Where's the controller?

Do you like camping?
Endless years of scouting could never instill an appreciation for the outdoors in me. Now that I'm an adult....I never have to go again! And...you can't make me.

Do you snort when you laugh?
Sometimes.

Do you believe in magic?
I'm not sure what you mean. I'm reasonably certain of science. That's just like magic.

Are dogs a man's best friend?
Depends on the dog and the man.

Do you believe in divorce?
I don't not believe in divorce. You're not going to riot with your zealous religious cult and bludgeon me with a crucifix now, are you?

Can you do the moonwalk?
I've been begging since I was seven for someone to let me go to the moon and find out!

Do you make a lot of mistakes?
Three, so far. Unless typos count. Then it's twenty-five. But, I'm only twenty-seven!

Is it cold outside today?
It's drizzly. So it feels coldish, but then I start sweating from the humidity. Balmy!

What was the last thing you ate?
Pistacio Almon ice cream last night. But, I was just going to make myself some tuna before I started the never-ending quiz.

Do you wear nail polish?
Usually not for more than a few minutes.

How many people do you like right now?
Hmmm...do you mean like or LIKE?

What's the most annoying TV commercial?
I'm usually not so bothered by commercials as by their frequency.

Do you shop at American Eagle?
uh...no.

Favorite song at the moment?
The Killers, All These Things That I've Done. Of course, I AM quite fond of Don't Fear the Reaper.

For Sale: One Life. Hardly used.

2006-10-05T16:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. [Take a shot]. Actually, I'm really not. I've been busy, as faithful readers will have inferred from my previous post. But, now I find myself at a crossroads, and I want YOU, faithful reader to get in on the life decision action! So, without further ado....here's the exposition:

Fed up with never having any free time, I've been sort of on edge recently. So, I decided to quit working at CarQuest. I figured that I could always try to get more grading assignments if I needed more money, and I would figure out what do to during the winter and summer breaks when they came up. So, I turned in my two weeks notice (which got me the weekend off "to think about it"...heh heh, suckers). But, when I got back to work on Monday, my boss had a counter-proposal (as if my quitting were negotiable...well, I guess it is now that I think about it. Crap, now I'm the sucker.) He asked if I could stay on and just work on Saturdays (10 hours starting at 8 f***in' AM). So, now, I have to decide on giving CarQuest the boot, or sacrificing my Saturday's for job stability. And, cause you all know I love lists, here are some Pro's and Con's for keeping my job. (Just skip this part if you really don't care...you can still vote at the end. I don't mind "pristine" opinions. ...I never said uninformed, I said PRISTINE!)

Pro:
-If I'm still employed at CarQuest, I can always just request more hours over the breaks and don't have to worry about find a new job every six months. (I asked this one of my boss blatantly, since it's a biggie)
-Although reduced, I'll still have benefits like health and dental. Not great benefits, but still...
-Even working only 10 hours a week, I'll be pulling in $40 less than my rent. Meaning, that even if something happens at school, and I don't get any grading for a whole month, I will still have SOMETHING with which to pay my bills.
-I made it quite clear to my boss that I would be doing homework during my downtime at work, and he said that would be fine. So, while working for CarQuest during the long, boring, and "nothing-to-do" hours of Saturday....I could be grading papers. Muahahahah, I'll be drawing two paychecks from one period of time. I hope that's not illegal or anything.
-I found out that if I were to quit, the other drivers were threatening to also quit (not because of some sort of group solidarity or anything, but just because they don't want to work all of the overtime my absence will create. ie Saturdays). And our store isn't allowed to hire any new drivers for various reasons. So, by staying on, I'm NOT screwing over the people with whom I work and like (for the most part).
-Probably other things which I can't think of right now, but are pertinent.

Cons:
-I don't want to wake up early on Saturdays.
-I don't want to work for 10 hours on Saturdays.
-Did I mention that I don't want to wake up early on Saturdays?
-I'm...uh...busy....and stuff. And...sleeping late on Saturdays will help with that.
-My job pays crap. My time might be better spent elsewhere.
-Insert a somewhat witty remark about "waking up on Saturdays" here.

So, there you have it folks. Lazy vs Logic. Who will win? Only YOU can decide. Let your voice be heard! Or not. I could always just flip a coin. Nah, I've already written the whole damned post. You vote! Heck, vote twice, I'm easy.

Oh look. I have a blog.

2006-09-27T00:25:00.000-07:00

Gaaaahhhhh. You know how sometimes, you try to run too many programs on your computer, and it just sort of stops. It doesn't give you an error message or anything, it just sort of tries valiantly, yet futilely, to do everything at once, even though the simultaneous actions will take one hundred times longer than doing them seperately. Meanwhile, the user waits patiently for about twelve seconds before angrily slapping ctl-alt-del to see what the hell went wrong. This, of course, is yet ANOTHER task the already over-committed processor must attend too...NOW! I now know how that little, poor computer feels. Seeing as I did so smashingly the last two semesters going to school full time and working full time, I decided to take on another job. That's right folks, I'm now working TWO jobs, and going to school. That's why I haven't been posting, and why I am now posting at 2am. It's sad when you start deciding that sacrificing sleep is a good trade off for recreational time. Anyone who knows me will understand the deep seated horror this causes me. Anyhoo, waa waa and all that. I've taken a job as a Math Grader; I have two classes of Business Calculus that I get to troll through all of their assignments looking for something to count off for. And, I don't get a key...that means that I have to do the assignments as well. Well, I'm already doing 6-10 hours of homework a week anyway, so why not? The good news is that the job pays much better than my "real" job, and it doesn't have set hours or anything, so I can do it whenever I have free time. Okay, that sounds groovy and all, but do you know what happens when you have something to do in your "free time". Bingo! You have no more free time. Last week, I didn't do anything on Monday night, because I was exhausted...and my schedule was so full, that I didn't finish the assignments I was supposed to grade by Friday. I don't want to have to schedule free time a week in advance. Yeah, yeah, everyone feel sorry for me. For anyone who's interested, this semester I'm taking Elementary Japanese (EVERY MORNING! Seriously. I'm only getting three credit hours for this class, so why am I spending five hours on it? It makes NO SENSE!!! Shew...I'm better now), American Government (a marathon course on Tuesday nights. The teacher doesn't take attendance...needless to say, I've already missed two classes...in the first month...yes, I know that's half...don't judge me, I haven't missed anything for a grade.), Multivariable Calculus (My teacher is this crazy Romanian who speaks fairly quickly, writes illegibly, and assigns a fair amount of homework. He also likes to put question ON THE TEST which make you think outside the box. sigh. If I'm getting a grade, I would really like to be graded on something you've actually taught me, and not on something I'm supposed to figure out on the spot. I'm not good at extemporaneous thinking. I really need time and quiet to scrute the nature of the universe.), and American History (online, thank goodness. Another "free time" filler, but the teacher isn't too demanding, so I'm cool with that. Plus, he has us download templates and answer short-answer question as we're going through the lessons. This might sound annoying at first, but it's so much better than the utter boredom my previous online classes inspired. It really helps with focus. So...good thinking Mr. Watson!). So...yeah now you know what I'm doing 16 hours or so out of any day.
In other news, I have a new computer. It kicks ass. And, I've set up my old computer downstairs and added it to my network. Making me feel very techno-savvy, even though I'm sure there are twelve years old with better set-ups. But now, if I have people over, I can play my MP3's in the living room! Well, as soon as I get speakers. sigh. Also, I've set up my Word with voice recognition. I haven't actually USED it for anything useful yet, but I've played with it. Oddly, it understands big words just fine, but has trouble with short words...you know like the ones you use constantly in every sentence. It also doesn't do punctuation...at least as far as I have discovered yet. I also set up the language feature of windows to let me type in JAPANESE! Isn't that the coolest? Again, haven't used it yet...but it's good to know that if some teenage school girl from Japan desperately needed me to send a letter home to her old grandmother who spoke no english...I could help. Hey, it could happen.
Crap. Now it's 3am. Well, they can force me to go to class every morning, but they can't make me perky! grumble. Good night everybody.

Who Wants To Be A World Leader!?!

2006-08-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. So, in that train of thought, I give you the combination of reality tv and politics....Who Wants To Be A World Leader.
Okay, so I envision the show to have 3 phases.
Phase One: Mr. America
First we need a board of "experts", probably drawn from the electoral college or directly from the federal government...we can work out the details later. So, our board of experts throw together a list of about, let's say, 200 Presidential Hopefuls (which, despite the name of the phase one, may be of either gender. But, really, I couldn't use Miss America, cause it's taken, and American Person just didn't sound right. Maybe it could be Mr./Ms. America...but that's just too punctuation heavy). We slap them all together in a Miss America type pagent (hopefully skipping the swimsuit competition) and narrow them down to about 10-15. The Judges will be...RANDOMLY SELECTED REGISTERED VOTERS. Genius. I'd suggest around 20-50 judges total, with the board of experts each having one veto (kinda like the lawyers picking a jury...speaking of which, there might be those who say that randomly selected people aren't worthy to select our President. I say, if it's good enough to decide if a man has commited a crime or not, it's good enough to elect our leader!) And we might even want to give 1/3 of the votes to internet polling...but again, those are just details. So, once we are down to 10-15 hopefuls, we have...
Phase Two: Presidential Survivor
So, the board of experts get together some Presidential Challenges, and our hopefuls are cut down one by one with us, the tv viewing public, getting maximum entertainment value from all of their suffering...uh, I mean watching the Indomitable American Spirit! Again, the actual cuts are made by the randomly selected board of judges (again with an option for direct democracy utilizing the internet). Once we're down to just one hopeful, the true genius of the show emerges with...
Phase Three: Democracy TV
That's right, from now on, there won't be any presidential conspiracies, because the President with be TELEVISED 24/7! Well, okay, he can have breaks for the bathroom and such. And maybe some time with his family...but if he wants to be "the most powerful man in the world" (hey, people say it. I make no claims to it's veracity) then he has to make a few sacrifices. Every politician knows he's constantly in the public eye...so, now the president will just take a more literal meaning. Of course, he'll still have a board of experts to guide him, in case the infallible public accidently chooses a stinker, but this part is also genius: no one can be any board in more than one phase. So, if you are one of the lucky randomly selected registered voters for phase one, you are ineligible for phase two, and so on. But, more importantly...if you are on the board of experts that helps select our president, you can't be on the board that advises him during office. MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Okay, so I'm thinking that each election year, we can have the first two months for the pagent, another six months for the Survivor challenges, and then Democracy TV for the other three years and four months of one term. Of course, that means that coverage of the president will be spotty during the first eight months of an election year, but, hey, he's already on the way out, what's the harm in giving him a little privacy at the end?
Sometimes I my genius even scares me... Anyhoo, okay people, time to start calling your Congresspersons and pulling those strings to TV executives. Remember, only YOU can make our a government a debacle for public entertainment. We already give them a big chunk of our income...and they aren't even FUNNY! That's just no way to run a network...uh, I mean a country.

Austin! The Epic Adventure

2006-08-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I went to The State Capital of Texas....AUSTIN! This epic adventure (titular) was filled with joyous laughter, bitter tears, bolstering comraderie, triumphant victory, crushing defeat, and, most importantly, ...pizza and Dr. Pepper. Like most epics, it would actually take LONGER to tell all that happened than the actual weekend. So...I won't. But, here are some high points for my lucky subscribers.
So, it turns out that my good friend Cainnum (I love you, baby!) had, by that point in time, spread it around that I am some sort of Super Smash Brothers prodigy. Sadly, no one informed ME of this before my trip, else I would have brushed up a little on my Smashing skills (foreboding tone...take that Mrs. English Teacher who gave me a B!) So, upon arrival in Austin, I learn that a CHALLENGE has been set before me...I must conquer the self-proclaimed Smash Brothers Champion of Austin (okay, he claimed no such thing, but I'M telling this story so just be quiet and turn on your suspension of disbelief). Realizing belatedly that the months long neglect of my skills probably hadn't improved my playing, I sadly informed my host that I was in sad smashing shape and not ready for an ordeal of this magnitude. Again sadly, the contest had already been arranged, and my fate was set....or was it? My worthy opponent arrived (see below for non-competition evaluation of my opponent), and we Smashed like two Titan battling for Olympus (yes, I know the titans didn't battle each other. We each battled LIKE a titan, but coincidentally against each other. Yes, I know the titans lost...didn't I already warn you once about interrupting me? Good.) And...I mostly lost. Well, I won a good 40% of the time, but I in no way dominated and thus did not uphold the honor which had been afforded me. Thus I saw bitter defeat. But don't worry, later in the evening, I won at a video game which I'd never played before. FIRST TIME! Ah, there's the triumphant victory worthy of an epic!
But, even through the immortal struggle of competition, my weekend also held tender moment and consideration. By that, I mean that my esteemed opponent was pretty cute! When I first saw him, I didn't think so; but, the more time I spent with him, I found him to be eloquent, fun, and interesting...and of course, through this, he became cuter as time went by. Now, I by no means am implying that I have a crushlet or anything of the sort (I sincerely doubt that he's gay...in fact, I think he got a call from his girlfriend while I was there), but I bring this up for my readers. You may recall awhile ago, I outlined requirements for my fondness. Well, I only associated with this guy for about two hours, but I'm fairly certain that were he gay (and was interested in me) he would qualify. So there...if there is but one person who meets that many of my qualifications, there must be someone who meets them all. Of course, it's a shame that I realized this in the course of a heated competition. The cuter he became, the worse I played...and found it harder and harder to even talk. Damn the inflicted taciturnity of cute boys! Oh well, at least I didn't start babbling.
Also of interest were The Cute Guys Downstairs. The one I saw most was just cute enough that I didn't say much...and I think it made him uneasy, cause he would come in and only stay for a short time. Oh well, not my fault! :)
Other than the cute guys, my weekend mostly consisted hanging out with friends in a soul-healing kind of way. It was fun. I want to do it again and again. I can't really think of anything else to mention that wouldn't start a cascade of description that would make this post a novelette. And, I can't see as anyone who wasn't there would be interested, and if you were there you don't need it described.
So, if anything else comes to me, I'll make a sequel to this epic. Until then......HUZZAH FOR AUSTIN!

Guilt

2006-07-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

Great. Now I feel guilty for fooling everyone. So, to appease the masses (all three of you), I'll do a real post. Lately, I've been extra lazy (no comments from the peanut gallery!) I have this overwhelming feeling that my summer of fun is over and the oppressive school year is upon me. Which is silly, cause I don't start school for another month, and I actually even enjoy going to class (if only they would do something about that homework...) Oh, and my summer so far hasn't exactly been a trip to Disney World. From here I should probably spectulate on why I insist on sabotaging my leisure with needless worry. But, to be frank...I'm too lazy. I think the heat might have something to do with it too. Who knows? Wow, I think this must be the most inane post I've ever written. Well, I warned you that I was brain dead, but you had to force my hand. I think I'll cut my losses and quit while I'm ahead. Good day.

Fooled you!

2006-07-21T16:21:00.000-07:00

Ha! You thought I was going to post...but I'm not. So there. I'm far too brain dead recently to think of anything interesting to say in a post...so I'm just not going to post anything. Well, okay...twist my arm why don't you. I'll post a picture.

There you go.

Three by three by three

2006-06-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

Let it be, let it be, let it be. Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there...I was just finishing up some...oh, nevermind. Anyhoo, yesterday was my birthday! I am now 27. That's right, I'm now three times three times three. It's a good thing that I'm not superstitious; otherwise, I might think that this year is DEFINITELY my year. I mean, come on, an age like that only comes around once in a lifetime. Literally. So, to give myself some focus, I've decided to make a list of some of the things that I want to do in my remaining handful of life. I know it's trite...but no one is forcing you to read (and if someone is...my apologies)

I WILL learn at least one language fluently.
-So, I can speak four foreign languages like a retarded child. I really just want to be able to watch a damned foreign film without subtitles. Is that so much to ask? And, it would also be nice if, when I speak to a native speaker, they don't giggle incessantly. INCESSANTLY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!? SEE, I SPEAK AT LEAST ONE LANGUAGE, JERK!!! Whew....moving along...

I WILL get a doctorate in something.
-I really don't care what. It would be nice if it were in something that other doctorates wouldn't make fun of me for, but I'm not picky. This all has to do with the fact that I was practically raised by Robert Heilein's books, and now I have improbable standards to reach. But, in the spirit of compromise, I've decided that I will settle for adding SOMETHING unique to the pool of human wisdom. And, I really want it to be something other than "don't be like Josh"

I WILL date someone that I respect.
-Okay, so my record to date doesn't really back up this wishfulness. But, really, isn't there some sort of overpopulation thing or something? Surely, out of all the people in the world there is someone that I can respect and who likes me. And, if he happens to look like Leonardo Sbaraglia, then I'm fine with that.

And...that's it. See? I'm not too picky. Too bad all of those things require lots and lots of effort. sigh.

I'm FREE! FREE!!!

2006-05-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

I finished all my finals. Now, I can look forward to a whole summer of JUST working full time. Maybe I can now find time to clean my apartment. Who knows? I will definitely have time to attend to some sorely neglected video games. Maybe I'll even find time to update me blog more regularly. Only time will tell.

Holding out for a Hero

2006-05-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

Well, as some of you may know...I've been dating. Okay, it was only two dates, but it counts. And, two it shall remain, because I don't want to date this guy anymore. Now, I'm not saying that it's going to take a superman to sweep me off my feet (unless one is interested...call me ;), but Love is the last bastion of wonder my pathetic little soul still clings to. So, I've decided that I would rather grow old and die alone than settle and disillusion myself. But I'd prefer the superman. So, since years of schooling have brainwashed me into systematically structuring and itemizing my thoughts...I'm going to make a list. Tell your friends!
1) Requirements - there are must haves for any aspiring suitor. Well, I might bend on them a little if the guy is really hot....no, I'm sticking to them.
a) He must like me. I know this sounds pretty obvious, but if a guy doesn't like me it's a deal-breaker. The more he likes me the better. I would like to think that this requirement isn't too strenuous...but I can only think of one person who's qualified so far. Sad, isn't it? Oh well...I'm not bending on this one.
b) He must be gay. I won't be the focal point of someone else's self-loathing...again. Bisexuals will recieve a probationary period during which I can decide whether they qualify as gay...but don't hold your collective breath; bi's already have one strike against them.
2) Negotiable - these aren't set in stone...but they aren't exactly trivial either.
a)Should qualify for two or more of the following
i) He should be smarter than me. Now, for all of those of you who I've fooled into thinking that I'm some kind of genius...well, I've been misleading you. I don't think this requirement should be too hard to fill. After all, statistically according to IQ, there are millions of people who qualify.
ii) He should be more attractive than me. Don't look at me that way. Seriously, this should be really easy to do...so I don't mind requiring it. And remember, it's my opinion of their attractiveness...I'm not sure if that makes it better...fine, I'm shallow, leave me alone now!
iii) He should be fun. Now, note that I didn't not say "nice". I don't care if you're nice (except to me, of course), but I do want someone who doesn't mind playing my silly word games. Someone who other people like, so I can hide behind them in social settings. Someone who doesn't bore me (I'm boring enough). And remember, you only have to qualify for two parts of this section. And your funness is subjective.
iv) He should have some sort of passion. I don't care what it is. Religion? Sure. Politics? Whatever. Work? Well...okay. Really, I'm apathetic enough, I need a man who can care about something. Plus, guys in an earnest fervor are hot.
b)Should qualify for one of the following
i) He should be a "normal" guy. Now, I know that the word normal doesn't really mean anything, but you all know what I mean anyway. I don't want a guy who's too effeminate. I don't want a guy who's a psychopath. Graduate it from there.
ii) He should be extraordinary in some way. So, I like normal guys, but if you are a psychopath, but you still qualify otherwise, I could probably overlook your pathological lying and lack of conscience if you showed undying devotion to me (which would be extraordinary...but if you start to kill people, I'll probably turn you in for your own good...but I'd visit you in prison). Or, I could probably date a nelly who qualified otherwise if they were super hot. And, to be honest, if you have vast psychic powers (and you meet the first requirements), don't bother reading the rest of qualifiers...you're in. :)
3) Bonuses - these aren't too important, but certainly are nice. And might bump someone up a notch if the are lacking in part 2...
a) I like guys who are thin. Yeah, I know...stop booing. Okay, so here goes. I've been overweight for a long time. So, it's sort of become the tether point of my self-loathing. So, I like guys who don't have my problem. You know, it's like bald guys becoming obsessed with chicks with great hair. Or something. ...I don't have to explain myself to you! :)
b) I like guys who are pale. Seriously, I like a guy who can glow in a black light. I know it's weird. I think it's because I was into vampires in my developmental stage or something. Whatever the reason...guys, skip that tanning session.
c) I like blue eyes. I've always wanted blue eyes. I think it's because my first crush was on Superman. ...that's not strange.
d) I like black or blond hair. But I'm not picky about hair.
e) I like a guy who can write computer code. Again, not mandatory, but a hold-out from my first love.
f) I like a guy who speaks a foreign language. Now, actually being foreign isn't what I'm after here (but as long as you're not an asshole, talking about your hometown in name-a-country is a sure way to make me googly eyed...but if you're asshole it has the exact opposite effect on me). I just like a guy who's willing to speak to me in forn...cause I loving learning languages. Makes me feel smart or something. And forn sounds purty.
g) I like a guy with money. Now, this is a real touchy subject, because most guys who like to spend money on their significant other do it the wrong way. I like a guy who buys me stuff because he CARES. Not because he's showing off his buying power, or trying to bribe me, or trying to buy my love when he's lacking in other areas, or ...well you get the idea. Like I said, it's like walking a tight-rope. Let's just say I like a guy who isn't stingy.
f) I like a guy who shares my interests. Now, this is pretty far down on the list for a reason: I'm not really even THAT into my interests. So, I like a guy who shares my interests, but brings in some of his own so I can expand my horizons. But, if we already have something in common, it makes thing go oh so much more smoothly. Oh, you should really start reading Heinlein before we meet...just to make things easier. :)
Okay, I'm starting to bore myself...so I'll call it quits. Now, this list was just off the top of my head, so I probably missed some stuff...but it gives a pretty good idea. ...a good idea of why I should change the name of this post to "Reasons I Will Always Be Alone"! HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH....oh wait, I'm making fun of myself. That's not funny. :( So...yeah... ... ...Firefly Rocks!

Advertencia: Lea este poste

2006-03-21T16:04:00.000-08:00

For those who are following the soap opera that is my life (well, a british soap opera anyway...if only I could get a nice saucy telemundo life. sigh) Here is some closure to the LAST post...you know, the one that no one read.
1) Screw Physics. I'll just take it next semester from a better teacher. Then, thanks to a forgiving grading system, the new grade will replace this dismal failure. So, I'm out 400 bucks for a bad semester. If that's the worst thing that happens to me in life, then I'm set. This seemingly simple realization (that I was essentially selling my sanity for 400 bucks) has really made me feel better. And, I can keep my 4.0 (retroactively after getting an A in the class next semester). hee hee, suckers.
2) So, my BFF came over this weekend and we had fun. So, I guess she's trying. :) Perhaps I'm not completely obsolete yet.
3) Still fat. Still hungry (though I totally pigged out this weekend...shhh, don't tell anyone). No resolution here. Sorry, this isn't the wonderful world of Disney.
4) Now that I'm half-assing Physics, my work load doesn't seem nearly as big. Now, don't get me wrong, I still need a week off during which I can sit and stare at the wall for six hours a day, but I SUPPOSE I can wait to do that this summer. We'll see.
5) The guy has now officially stopped writing me. And no one else has written in a week. And, all I can say is Thank the Gods. I didn't realize how much I was stressing over stupid internet communication until it was gone. Dude, I so don't need to talk to strangers. I can barely handle keep my friends entertained. And I don't like this whole disembodied text bit. If I'm going to meet someone, I need context clues...body language, facial expressions, gesticulation, and all of that jazz. I'm just not smart enough to fill in all of those blanks from a text block.
So, there you have it. All wrapped up in a nice little package. Well, except for the fat thing...but you need to leave some things open for the sequel. Muahahahahahhah.

Warning: Do Not Read This Post

2006-03-14T16:07:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling meloncholy. So, if you're here to read my second-rate wit, you'll just have to get it from somewhere else. *crickets chirp* Okay, now that I'm all alone, and because I'm feeling kind of morbid, I'll now proceed to catalog some things that have been on my mind (for posterity).
1) I am failing Physics. That's right...anybody that ever thought I was smart can now disillusion themselves. And, I'm not saying that my average has barely dipped into failing territory...I got a 22 on the last EXAM. Of course, with the 30 point curve that the teacher (if you can call him that) gave the class, I'm....still FAILING. Now, I don't care about excuses or extraneous circumstances; I'm failing a class. And, since my entire ego is pretty much based on my intellect, I now realize that I've got nothing. No fallback. I'm not pretty. Not athletic. Not charismatic. My whole life, I've been smart. Now, I've got nothing. Time to start looking for a job as a drunken village idiot. Hope I don't mess that up.
2) My BFF has a new boyfriend, and I'm now second fiddle. I completely realize that it's petty and childish of me to not wish someone I care about happiness. But, too bad. Me! Me! Me! I'm jealous that someone who has known my BFF for only 1.3 months now has more influence than I do after 26.7 years. And I hate that I'm jealous. I wish I were the bigger man. Emotionally, that is. I could totally kick most asses physically. If only I were a caveman, I could just club people until the world was the way I wanted. Then being 6'6" and 300 pounds would be an asset and not just a reason that no one will ever date me. Which brings us to
3) I've been dieting. Now, I'm hungry and NOT ANY THINNER. Seriously, I think my metabolism is the most adaptable metabolism in the world. I cut back to healthy levels and nothing happens. Same size. I have to practically starve myself (not exagerating) to lose any weight, and then it comes off really quickly. But, you're not supposed to starve yourself....it's unhealthy or something. And, if I starve myself, I start getting headaches and dizziness. Again, the irony is that a maleable metabolism would be a total asset in almost any other time period in the world. I hate irony.
4) I thought that I could be one of those people who could work and go to school full-time. But, I don't think I am. I think that I'm slowly going insane. I need sleep. And multiple days off each week. Sometime, when I remember that I still have a minimum of five years before I graduate, I physically twitch. And the sad thing is that I actually enjoy school. I used to be good at it, and I enjoy learning new things. But, since I wasn't born wealthy, there just isn't any feasible way for me to go to school and not work 40 hours. And, I can't go to school part time and get any sort of good grant. It's the story of my life. If I like or want something, it's always has strings attached that make it unbearable or impossible. I hate catch-22's
5) I met this guy on myspace. I decided to be myself (for the most part) and chatted for a couple of weeks with him. Then he stopped responding. See, I forgot that I'm completely unlikable. I have to cater to everyone around me all the time just so that no one hates me. Cause, in past experience, those are the results. Cater or hate. And sometimes catering isn't enough. Oh, of course I don't mean YOU. You're the one person who understands me. And, changing the subject...I realize that is how it is on the internet. People lose interest etc. But my sole reason for joining myspace was to talk to him (my neighbors conned me into it), and now, I have strangers writing to me. I don't like strangers. I never know what to say. I hate social awkwardness. Speaking of which...
Well, that was...probably vaguely offensive. Good thing no one was reading it. *nervous laugh* But, I do feel better. Blogs are way cheaper than therapy.

Happy Driver Tip: Drive-Alongs

2006-02-28T22:33:00.000-08:00

It's happened to all of us. You're driving along on a nice multi-lane highway, you try to drive past another car, and they speed up so that they are driving directly along side of you. So, you slow down; they keep pace. You think about running them off the road with your car and emphatic gesticulation. However, unless you are a spontaneous free-spirit (see also: psychopath), these thoughts aren't very helpful. Let me give some tips to take care of the drive-alongs. First, a quick insight into the drive-along's mind. They are sheep. They aren't pacing you to annoy; they're feeble minds subconsciously latch on to anything that gives them direction. Knowing this allows you to expoit it. So, method one: the sling shot. Keep pace with the drive-along, but slowly increase the speed until you are going ten to fifteen (necessary speeds may vary) miles per hour faster than you would normally like. If the drive-along fear authority more than thinking for themselves, they will chicken out and fall back...problem solved. More likely, they will sheep right along side you. So, just when they are feeling secure...quickly slow down to the speed you want to go. If done correctly, the feeble mind of the drive-along will not be able to cope quickly enough, and they will be miles ahead of you driving at dangerous velocities. Now, sometimes, the more quick thinking drive-along will quickly become afraid at having lost his new pillar of security and will slow back down after only a few miles. This is easily overcome by then passing said drive-along at the previously mentioned dangerous velocities. You'll be far beyond the slow thinking drive-along before he knows what's going on. ....or you could just mount a large projectile weapon to the top of your car, and demand respect through violence. Drive smart, kids.

*disclaimer-Josh does not encourage the use of any projectile weapons of any sort. You should beat people to death using boot and brass knuckle...like the gods intended*

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

2006-02-26T22:39:00.000-08:00

An old friend has turned on me. I've always known he was fickle, but this time it's ridiculous. Oh, friend Sleep...why hast thou forsaken me?!? So, Saturday, I had to wake up early (you know, because I have work), and I think that was the day I pissed Sleep off. I got home, and took a six hour nap. At the time I thought nothing of it, but now...I realize the diabolical nature of the plan. Saturday night...I couldn't sleep. Nothing. This is not a problem I've had in the recent past. Not getting sleep, yes. Not being ABLE to sleep...not so much. So, I finally achieve slumber nirvana around 7am. And, then, I awake at noon. NOON! ON A SUNDAY! The only day I haven't given away all of my time, and I can't sleep the day away. It was the saddest thing ever. So, I go through my Sunday slightly dazed; feeling a little hurt and betrayed. And, then tonight (Sunday evening/Monday morning), again with the not sleeping. I lie down, turn off the lights, and then begin to wonder whether my new myspace profile is good enough for the masses (until I remember that the people I know in real life won't care, and everyone else is still imaginary). So, I let it drop. Then, I start to think about my various homework assignments (which I completed in a timely fashion). So, I let that drop. Then I start to worry that if I don't go to sleep soon, I'll be really tired tomorrow. Oh, Sleep, THAT is the worst mindfuck of them all! A low blow, employing paradox for such a vulgar, vengeful task. If this game persists, I'll have to start getting cheap too. I'll buy a copy of The Thin Red Line. I have yet to watch it all the way through and not fall asleep. Or, I'll re-read Ethan Frome! ...wow, I can't believe how far I've gone. Nothing deserves Ethan Frome. Heck, I'm an adult, and Sleep is an eternal anthropomorphized force...I'm sure we can work out our differences. Truce! And...goodnight.

Free time is for suckers

2006-02-06T20:23:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't posted recently because everything I can think of sounds a lot like whining. Negativity doesn't really go with the whole apathy motif. So, here is a completely (for the most part) complain-free post. This semester I am taking Calculus 2 (8-9am MWF), Physics: Classical Mechanics (9-10am MWF, Recitation: 3pm-4pm W, Lab: 5pm-8pm...yes that's seven hours for one class, and no I don't get credit for most of it, and yes, I don't think it's very fair either), Music Appreciation (10-11am MWF, online and whenever the hell my sadistic teacher feels like piling on outside of classes assignments), College Writing (6:30pm-9:20pm M, 6:30pm-infinity subjective time), and my Institute Class: The Pearl of Great Price (11am-12pm, uh no commentary, it's actually quite relaxing). Of course, this does compromise my work schedule somewhat (10am-6pm TTh, 11:30am-6pm MF, and 8am-2pm Sat, with a sadly misleading Wed. off). And, this schedule doesn't encompass the 8-10 hours of homeword I have each week...which I...uh...don't mind doing...that much. So, since my brain is now active for [error]% of the week, I've found that my already meager imagination has hit an all time bottom. It's odd how much you use your imagination on a daily basis. No, I'm not talking about Veronica's novel, I'm more thinking of using words in everyday conversation. Where do you think those words come from? That's right, your lush imagination (well, maybe the scrubland next to the lush part). And, when that imagination is gone...doing things like answering suddenly difficult questions like "How are you this morning" becomes more problematic. uh...but that's no excuse to neglect my blog! So...uh...stay in school kids! And...uh...a mind is a terrible thing to waste! And [enter your slogan here]!

PS As you are all queueing up to comment, tell the world what your slogan is! (I learned it by watching Cainnum. uh..that's not my slogan...that's were I learned tricks from the comment-whore. Not that it's a bad slogan. But, I would never make a slogan around someone who wants to link a girl in Amsterdam before he linked his good friend. Not that I even want a link. I mean, who even really clicks on link...besides everyone who uses the internet. So...yeah...I don't need your link. I've got lots of friends. I mean, who even said that having lots of links to your website made you popular? I didn't. uh...oh, is this thing still on? beep)

PPS Oh yeah, for the almost complain-free experience that I promised, go back and erase everything that was in parenthesis from your memory. Wow, what did people do before brain wipes were invented? Am I right, people? Aw, just wipe the whole thing and replace it with a memory of you eating a cookie or something.

It wasn't a good hand of poker.

2005-12-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

I was pretty worried about going back to school after being away for so long...but, what did I see when I looked at my report card? Why, four A's all in a row. I don't even feel that bad that I think my Calculus teacher bumped up my grade out of pity. :) I certainly don't receive any postive reinforcement at work...so it's nice for someone to tell me that I did a good job. Even if it is an uncaring, impersonal webpage. Go me! Okay, enough tooting my own horn.

Ten things that Heinlein taught me.

2005-11-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

1) My high school education was inadequate. And, unless I worked hard to prevent it, my college education would also probably be inadequate.

2) Having a high IQ and formidable physical presence isn't enough...you also need pluck and courage. If you're missing one of these things...well, I just don't know, I don't think it's ever addressed in depth.

3) Women are just like men, but need a tidy ten minute emotional breakdown every once in a while. Unless they are the useless histrionic kind...a la Farnum's Freehold.

4) There is no need for me to translate any foreign language phrases with which I might sprinkle my dialog.

5) In fact, I need not explain any vocabulary no matter how archaic...unless it has to do with science, in which case, I can explain to my hearts content.

6) I should always carry a gun.

7) I should be fully trained with my gun, and not be afraid to use it if circumstances require. You know, like if someone is substantially rude. (I'm not making this up...re-read The Cat Who Walks Through Walls)

8) Sex if fun, and I should feel free to engage in it any time I'd like as long as everyone is consenting.

9) Futuristic gadgets are really quite simple once you really think 'em through.

10) Every situation can be handled with a liberal dose of pragmatism.

Idealism

2005-10-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

I think that being an adult is when growing older stops being about learning and experiencing, and starts being about forgetting and ignoring. The perfect person or world that you envision as a child becomes too inconvenient, so you compromise; then, eventually, your dreams are replaced with routine, getting ahead, and external joy. A world that is far more consistent and reliable. I wonder how much of the adult mindset is enabled by sheer laziness, and how much of childhood is tainted by cowardice. Will a brave child grow into an exuberant adult? How much of our ideal can we retain without become socially retarded? I think just thinking the questions shows how puerile I really am.

So tired...

2005-10-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

I'm busy. Calculus test last Thursday. Nutrition project on Tuesday. Nutrition and Psychology tests today. History test tomorrow. Almost done...can rest on weekend. Study too much. Work too much. Not sleep enough. Keep confusing amino acids with ancient kings...not good. Brain hurts. Will update later.

Music

2005-09-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

So long has it been since I've liked a new band. And, now I've two. The Killers and The Kings of Convenience. Okay, so the Kings are kind of disbanded, and so really can't be called new...but they're new to me. And, although Eirik Glambek Boe is totally super hot, I like their MUSIC too! So, yeah. I've never been a big music guy, so just thought I'd keep you guys updated on my musical tastes.

Huzzah for higher learning!

2005-09-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

Wow. I should have started college ages ago. I think I was ready for college at around the 9th grade. I've always considered myself a logical person. So much, that every nuance of my thought processes must maintain a semblance of logic. Most people think I'm weird. I've gone through my whole life thinking I was weird. Then, BAM, I go to UNT and find all of the books and teachers telling everyone around me to think the way I do. I'm still basking... You have to love a place where you can point out some of the intrinsic flaws of Christianity, and the people around just nod with agreement. That's right friends, a whole group of people actually agreed with one of my more blasphemous statements! It's never happened before. And, my Calculus teacher doesn't assign homework, saying that we can do the practise excercises if we want, but if we already understand it, then not to worry about it. He really needs to talk to my high school math teacher (or as I used to call her, Mrs. Busywork). And my psycholgy text actually outlines that flaws in reasoning that I've been pointing out to people for years (usually with unpleasant results). Sigh, and it's only been a week and a half. I'm actually...ooh, this hurts...en...joy...ing....my...self.... What will this do to my apathy? The very core of my being depends on not caring about anything. Oh, well... :)

Hell hath no fury like apathy scorned...

2005-08-30T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's official. I'm fully submerged into academia. I'm now one of the very unfortunate full-time students who also work full-time. My SLOTH isn't happy about this at all. But, as far as these things go, it's not so bad...I still get to sleep until 9:30 and until noon on the days I go to class. Muahahah. A fair price for working every Saturday until I graduate...or armageddon...which ever comes first. For those interested, I'm taking Calculus I (I feel like the dumb kid in class, because my pre-cal was, dare I say it?, nine years ago. ouch.), World History to the Sixteenth Century (So far this class is cake...I've already learned the material so far through many and many hours of Civs 2 and 3. Suckers.), Psychology I (I haven't been yet...so no commentary), and Principles of Nutrition (it's a core credit for Wellness, whatever the hell that means. It's an internet course that I'm fair worried about...especially because my schedule still says that it's start date is to be announce...but school's already started. Stupid internet courses.) Now, keeping in mind that I've only had one day of school, my general impression so far is...where the hell am I supposed to park?!? So, there you have it from the horse's mouth...my apathy will just have to go on hiatus while I gets some book learnin' in me. Hmmm...that's an ironic riddle. My blog is based on my apathy, so if my apathy takes a vacation, will the blog have more, or less posts? We'll just have to see. (No comments from the peanut gallery!)

Buoyant Apathy

2005-08-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

So, I've had some...bad relationships. (Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about any of them). And, after the last one ended (that's the polite way of putting it), I had absolutely zero interest in ever having a relationship again. That was...let's see...four years ago. Then, out of the blue, earlier this year, up comes my subconscious with a freakin' CRUSH! I mean a real high-school can't-stop-thinking-about-the-guy crush. (Please refrain from using the word pathetic or sad in any comments). So, after several weeks of generally being nervous around the guy, I finally drudge up the courage to ask if he wants to go with my friends and I out for drinks. He said no. His next sentence included the phrase "I have a serious girlfriend"...and I don't think he was referring to her temperament. Now, I had a similar experience in high-school (you know, the time and place when crushes are far more appropriate), and I was mortified and depressed. I'm not this time. All of the that was unimportant exposition for the actual point. I wonder if I'm an emotionless husk of a person, or if I've honed my apathy into a helpful tool. I'm still a little embarrassed, mostly because of my huge miscalculation...but even that faded fairly quickly as I realized I didn't really care what he thought of me anymore. I guess that makes me terribly selfish. Oh well.

Dossier: ENTHUSIASM

2005-07-27T00:28:00.000-07:00

Name: Enthusiasm
Known Aliases: En, That Perky Bitch, Psycho
Stats: Smarts-4 (out of 10) Trickery-2 Charisma-7 Stability-5 (Note: En sometimes undergoes certain...metamorphoses that change these stats. See Special Abilities)
Appearance: EN is often described as a cute 15 year old girl with pigtails.
Special Abilites: EN suffers from multiple personality disorder. To date at least seven differing egos have manifest. Each personality seems to have it's own agenda and strengths. This effect is demonstrated well in the following excerpt:
EN: Hey Otto, what are you doing?
Otto: Crap! Oh, hi EN, I'm (son of a...that was close) driving.
EN: I didn't know you could drive. Isn't that something the Overmind does.
Otto: Yeah, but it fades out sometimes, and I've got to (AHHHHH! Oh, shew) take up the slack. As if I didn't have enough to do already. The heart doesn't beat itself you know!
EN: Hm. Can I watch?
Otto: Sure, let me put it up on the view screen.
EN: Ooooh. We're going so fast! Is this dangerous.
Otto: Very! One slight mistake on my part could (Oh! Mother of Pearl! we're gonna die we're gonna die...okay...we're good) kill the entire crew.
EN: Hey! That guy didn't use his turn signal! That really T's me off! I mean, it's not like it's hard to use. GRRRRR! He wouldn't like me when I'm T'd off.
Otto: uh...EN? It's okay, just calm down...we're all friends here...
EN: voice lowering in pitchIt shows a complete lack of respect for other drivers! It....really....makes...me....
Records are sketchy at this point in the record. By questioning Otto, we've discovered that EN's physical appearance changed at this point, with her skin becoming red, her body tripling in size, and large red horns sprouting from her forehead.
RAGE (Stats: Smarts-1 Trickery-1 Charisma-0 Stability-0): AHHHRRRHHHHH!
Otto: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Must flee must flee must flee
RAGE: GAAAARRRRRRHHHHH!
LOGIC: What's going on here....oh my. Quickly Otto, activate the Overmind Override.
Otto: AHHHHHHHHHHH! She's gonna EAT ME!
LOGIC: Otto...until the Overmind is reactivated...you are still driving...
Otto: ...Holy crap! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ...okay...it's back on...uhh...must flee must flee must flee
RAGE: RAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGG!
LOGIC: It's okay EN. Everything is going to be all right.
RAGE: RAHHH....rahhh.....ra....
EN: Oh, hi Captain! When did you get here? Are we still driving?
LOGIC: sigh. It's probably best if you don't think about that too much.
EN: ...Okie dokie!

Apathetic Insight

2005-07-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

Today, I was thinking (eight hours in a car will do that to you). I pondered the source of my seemingly limitless apathy. I mused on the wellspring of blah. And after several hours, I stumbled upon the seeming paradoxical solution. My obsessiveness. Stick with me here. I'm not OCD or anything (no comments from the peanut gallery!) but I do tend to...let's say dwell on things. For example, when I bought Animal Crossing, I played it for at least six hours that first day. And the next. And the next. For two months this went on...then I suddenly didn't want to play it anymore. It's not that it disgusts me, and I plan on never touching it again...I just don't feel like it lately. This scenario is typical of most things in my life. I'll take a keen interest in something, but the fire is too bright and can't possibly last long. It's almost like I seeking to learn everything about something, and once I think I know it well enough, I'm done with it. And then, if there's nothing after it on the list of things to do...back comes the blah. And, it's not as if my attention span is short either. I spent every free moment for six months playing a certain online video game...then the urge just passed. I read the ENTIRE Wheel of Time series (to date) in succession...then balked at buying the latest book. I've watched many television shows on DVD (usually the entire series in the fewest possible sittings, with sleep time usually taking a lower priority than many of my friend would believe)...and then sent the disks to collect dust from whence they came, never to be watched again. I know it to be a character flaw which I should really address...but I'm not really sure how. And, now that I've laid it atype, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Maybe I just have too much time to think...oh well, back to apathy for me.

Special Guest Speaker: My APATHY

2005-07-16T20:36:00.000-07:00

...well, go ahead.
APATHY: I fail to see any benefical outcome of this exercise.
Josh: Come on, the blog is named after you. You have to say something.
A: ...
J: Fine, I'll make it a little easier on you by making it into a little Q&A format. So, APATHY, tell us a little about yourself. Where are you in the hierarchy of my head?
A: Hmmm...well, I'm the Grand Vizier to Emperor Amare. I advise him, and fulfill his royal duty if he's not able. And, I stand second on the Mind Council.
J: ...What? You make it sound like there's a whole kingdom or something in my head!
A: Oh my, yes. More like a ship than a kingdom, but there is quite a line of command. Fascinating stuff really, but I'm sure we've taken up far too much of our readers' valuable time...
J: I'm sure they wouldn't mind a few more questions. So, my head is like a ship...and this Emperor Amare is the captain?
A: Oh my, no. His Majesty is sovereign to the captain, but Captain LOGIC actually runs the ship.
J: LOGIC is the captain...that makes sense. So, what does the Emperor do?
A: Dreams mostly...he's been asleep for many years. But, I faithfully carry out the royal duties in his quasi-absence. And, we keep in touch with him via the Dream-o-vision.
J: ...let me get this straight, my mind is ruled by some guy who's been ASLEEP for YEARS?!? And, what the heck is a Dream-o-vision?
A: The Emperor by royal decree can not be disturbed, and it is his royal perogative to sleep for however long he wishes. The Dream-o-vision broadcasts his dreams to the rest of the mind. You are probably aware of them as your dreams or day dreams. Of course, any of the mind crew can broadcast on the Dream-o-vision. Useless frippery most of the time, but they seem to enjoy it for the most part.
J: Okay...I'm a little disturbed by that, but let's move on. You mentioned a Council or something?
A: Ah yes, the Mind Council. The ruling body of the...well, of the body. ha ha. The Council gathers to form opinion, decide courses of action and that sort of thing.
J: So, everything I think and do is decided by this council? How...vaguely alarming.
A: No need to feel apprehension; the council is second to you as the Overmind. Most of the time there is little conflict. Mostly when you experience guilt (lovely fellow, by the way) or nervousness (twitchy guy), it is a result of a conflict between council members or the council and the Overmind.
J: Oh...well....that's...reassuring. I guess. So, who all is on this council?
A: Well, it's headed by Captain LOGIC, with myself holding the second chair. Then, there's SLOTH as chief engineer, DUTY as public relations, and ENTHUSIASM and INDULGENCE holding seats with no operational duties.
J: Sloth is the chief engineer of my head?
A: Oh yes, hard working fellow. Ironically. He works hard to make sure that you don't.
J: How strange. What kind of things do this council discuss?
A: Most everything you encounter is brought before the council.
J: Okay...what about the cute guy at work? Has he been discussed?
A: At length, unfortunately. I believe I will eventually bring the others to a negative vote on the subject.
ENTHUSIASM: No he won't!
J: And who is this lovely young lady?
EN: I'm your ENTHUSIASM, and don't let the stupid council bully you! It's true love! I just know it!
A: Miss EN, we have all agreed not to bring council business directly to the Overmind...is this not so?
EN: ...uh...yeah...but I...
A: I have a splendid idea. Let's change the subject, and perhaps no one but you and I will know of your little slip. Hmmm...you know what I enjoy on occasion? Sleeping.
EN: I love sleeping!
A: I bet I can fall asleep faster...
EN: Oh no you can't! ....zzzzz...zzz....
J: ...wow...right to sleep.
A: I'm not sure which is more frightening, how easily I do that or how often.
J: How...creepy.
A: And, I think we've bored our readers enough with your inner dialog.
J: Of course. I'm sure you have important idea to undermine and...stuff.
A: The task must be done by somebody. ha ha
J: Yeah. Thanks for the chat.

The Nation of Procrasti

2005-07-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

So, I was going to update my blog today...but I play Smash Brothers instead. I was going to yesterday...but I played Animal Crossing instead. And, yet again, last thursday...I think you get the picture. See, the trouble is I work all day, and it really interferes with the things I like to do (sleeping, video games, and reading...respectively). I'm sometimes truely amazed at my capacity to entertain myself. Some people say that they have to work, otherwise they get bored...and I say to those people, you're just not trying hard enough! Seriously, given infinite free time, I would come up with infinite diversions for myself. There would probably be crests and troughs in the fun, but I'm willing to weather those rough times of boredom. After all, you need boredom as a contrasting background to all of your self-made fun. Otherwise, how would you know HOW MUCH fun you're having? I think that I was meant to be born into an independantly weathly family, but there was some sort of mix-up in the spirit world...or maybe I'm just really lazy. Whatever, I think I'll go to sleep (always Hobby #1!)

Happy Birthday America!

2005-07-03T22:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I've been kinda busy (see last post re: video games, xref: free time), and have been neglectful. Well, that and the fact that my job seems to think that days off are optional. I know those are just excuses, but blaming others for our problems is the American Way! And I'm feeling very American on this the day that somebody's forefathers (maybe even my own...but I'm not sure) savagely and brutely slashed the umbilical cord of this fine land. And so, each year we drink lots of beer and cook outside...cause beer symbolizes...freedom...and cooking outside...symbolizes...military encampments....yeah, that's it. And to make the experience that much more authentic, we give the children (young and old) toys made from gunpowder! Ah, what a country! I really do like America, in the way that someone who's eaten meatloaf his whole life thinks that steak is too chewy. People tell me that my country kicks ass, and I suppose they're right...our movies are certainly somewhat better than other countries movies. I also really like America East (where we get electronics and video games from), American North (where we get alternative muscians and actors from) and America South (where we get tequila, human resources, and food recipes for us to tinker with). Yeah, I really don't know where I'm going with all of this (see blog title). So...Go America! I guess.

Bio-tank Emergence Day!

2005-06-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, on this day 26 years ago, I bravely ventured out from the bio-tank of my host's womb onto to the road of life with nothing but a leisure suit made from goo, a thin strip of dying umbilical cord, and a fistful of moxy. Since that momentous occasion, I've learned a few things; but mostly, I've eaten a lot, slept a lot, and generally made a nuisance of myself. But, now I'm TWENTY-SIX! Now, I'm a real adult. Part of me acknowledges that this important transition was a slow process taking years...but my more dramatic side has decided that I've fully matured in just one day. That's right, yesterday I was nothing more than an advanced teenager...but today, my friend, I've emerged from the carefree coccoon of irresposibility (and some acne that was SUPPOSED to go away five years ago) into the butterfly of a novice bitter old man. Those of you who know me may be thinking it, so I'll go ahead and say that the transformation wasn't that unexpected...I've been on the verge of being a bitter old man for years. But...old habits die hard, so I'm still really excited about the GameCube my siblings bought for me. An act that prompted me to go out and spend over a hundred dollars on various gifts for myself (Civ: Conquests, Tales of Symphonia, Animal Crossing, and Pokemon Collosseum...don't judge me, it's not like I go to Burger King on Tuesdays and PokeBattle with eight year olds. I just like playing the damn game.) But, more in line with my distinguished age, my mother bought me a set of Scriptures (Leather bound Bible and Book of Mormon set...looks expensive), a hymnal, and book of piano music to learn on. Quite a juxtaposition, isn't it. Hmmm...video games or...the epistles of ancient men concerning my immortal soul. Well, I've decided to read the books (it will give me limitless fuel for my atheistic opinions, and with so many true believers, it must be a fascinating read...right?) for about half to a full hour each day and play the video games with ALL remaining free time. That's sounds fair. After all, a man of my age needs to find ways to recapture his youth...

Brain Coolant

2005-06-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, in the great tradition of Fry from Futurama...I am a delivery boy. I am trusted with the quasi-sacred task of transporting and ensuring the safety of valuable automotive parts; I am the linch pin in the grand scheme of people who are far too busy (or lazy...whatever) to go and pick up their own purchases. I am convenience incarnate. You can probably see where this is leading... In the timeless words of Rodney Dangerfield...I get no respect. Mechanics have a keen mind for remembering when I took more than 10 minutes (across town...during rush hour) to bring them their needed parcels, and never seem to remember the times I FLEW their rush package (breaking a slew of traffic laws in the process) in under five minutes (again, across town...but not during rush hour, I'd be dead). This if fine though, due to the compassionate and understanding administration at my company (re-read last sentence seasoned with heavy sarcasm). However, since I usually have to work up to caring (see blog title), these things don't bother. What does bother me is...my car has no air conditioning...in Texas...in summer. If I were an animal, my boss would probably be thrown in jail, but, since I have opposable thumbs, I can be driven to within an inch of heat exhaustion with no consequence to those around me. Seriously, when I come home at the end of the day, I can take my shirt off and WRING it out. Again, this doesn't bother me too much (my apathy could probably win an ironman competition), but it did make me notice something. When I get hot, I get really stupid. People will talk to me, and I have to concentrate really hard to realize that a response is expected from me. It took me five minutes today to match up a part number (I kept looking at the wrong part and thinking, "Something isn't right here...if I could only put my finger on it...") In the middle of the day, when it is hottest, my eyes glaze over and I have to remind myself that GREEN means go. So, ironically, I got to thinking, and I wonder if humans think BETTER when it's cold. We should do some experiments, refine the results, and start fabricating brain coolant. Taking your SAT's...don't forget the brain coolant! We could devise hats made from heat sinks for the poor who can't afford the actual coolant. Humanity as we know it could be changed forever. Just a thought.

Oops...wrong button

2005-06-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

So, through a little exploration and some rash clicking...I've created a blog. Gods help us all. But, since I'm here, I might as well tell you (the disembodied reader) who it is who is typing all of these inanities. Since chances are that you know me already, you might as well skip this post all together as no new ground will be covered (you know, like the review period in school every year after summer vacation). Hi, I'm Josh. I'm mid to late 20's. No, literally, I'll be 26 next week. Brown hair and eyes. Caucasoid (heh heh...I said caucasoid). I'm 6' 6", with a large build (I just have big bones...oh, who am I kidding...I'm overweight. Don't worry, I won't hit on you, after all, you don't even have a body (see third sentence)). I enjoy reading (I HAVE read things other than sci fi and fantasy...but I'm not taking high school English anymore), video games (if you have some free time, I'll tell you all about the Ultimate Civilization I created in Civ 3! ...I was kidding, you really don't want to know about it), movies (Kevin Bacon, anyone?), and avoiding long walks on the beach. My turn ons....are my own damn business (if you really want to know, then you'll just have to flirt with me, woo me, court me for a few months, and then I MIGHT give you a couple of hints on one of them. Any takers? I thought not.) Oh, and I like using parentheses...I apologize, but you'll just have to cope. Okay, that's the bare bones of me (heh heh...I said bones). Anyone with questions will have to schedule a tutorial.